The Little Things
by Kairikiani
Summary: It's the little things that make you. It's the little things that break you.
1. Addiction

Author's Note: This isn't a story. It's just a collection of moments that put the pieces together for a larger character study. It'll be a bit like "Second Child", except with more introspection and even less plot. Unlike "Second Child", each chapter is, a)literally it's own chapter, and b) completely self-contained. I'm putting them in separate chapters because I haven't written all of them yet.

* * *

It's a hot day, the kind that shortens tempers and prolongs ill moods. Your team is waiting for Kurenai at the training grounds. Hinata and Kiba sit on a rock, with Akamaru at their feet, while you lean against a shady tree nearby.

"Just walk up to your old man, look him in the eye, and tell him you want to train with him!"

Hinata wipes some sweat off her forehead. "I'm sorry, Kiba, but I really don't think that would work…"

You lean out of the shadows, making yourself known. "I highly suggest you try. Why? Because while Neji is very talented, you will not be able to learn all of your clan's techniques from him."

Neither of them acknowledges you.

Kiba leans forward. "Come on! You can't spend the rest of your life training with your cousin!"

Hinata stares at the grass, thinking over Kiba's advice.

You close your eyes. You hate conversations like this. You're never sure if you're being ignored or simply unnoticed. You wonder if your voice is softer than it sounds, or if you only thought the words instead of speaking them. It's as though your mind is disconnected from your own body.

Hinata leans down and pets Akamaru. "What do you think? Should I talk to Father?" Akamaru barks something incomprehensible in reply. Hinata smiles.

"It would be nice if you asked my opinion," you snap. "Why? Because your training affects me as well."

Hinata flinches and hangs her head. You immediately regret scolding her – she always takes criticism so personally. You should have aimed your words at Kiba instead.

Kiba glares at you as though you've kicked a puppy. He puts a hand on Hinata's shoulder. "Just because Kurenai made you leader doesn't mean you get to be in charge of every part of our lives, Shino."

"I'm not trying to-" You don't get to finish your sentence, because Kurenai shows up for practice. She has Hinata and Kiba spar on the field. Meanwhile, she sets up genjutsu targets for you to maneuver your bugs through. You focus on your task, trying to ignore the way your jacket clings to you in the heat.

Things used to be better. Hinata would come to you for advice. Kiba would pepper you with bug-themed jokes, trying to get a reaction from you. The three of you would train together, rather than side-by-side on a field.

True, it took a long time for you to relax around them. After six years of being ostracized by classmates, you weren't exactly enthusiastic about friendship. But Hinata and Kiba had no regard for your wishes. They'd talk to you during missions, though you'd tell them to focus on the task at hand. They'd eat lunch with you after training, though you rarely ate much. And when you sat in the corner during meetings, they'd stubbornly sit next to you, invading your personal space. The chess match between the three of you went on and on, until eventually you found yourself playing along.

You're not sure what's changed. Sometimes you think they're bored of you. Other times you blame it on the fact that they've caught up to you in skill and no longer need your protection to survive. Or perhaps the distance between the three of you is just a part of growing up. Regardless, you think it's cruel of them, to introduce you to friendship and then snatch it away after four short years.

But it doesn't matter what you think. You're addicted to people now. You couldn't go back to being alone even if you wanted to. So after practice, you will apologize to Hinata, even though all you did was ask for her to talk to you. Then you'll hover on the sidelines ro the rest of the day, waiting for your teammates to acknowledge you. It will be undignified. It will be boring. But it will also be necessary, because even a tiny scrap of attention is better than nothing at all.

* * *

Author's Note: Before I get a thousand and one Hinata fans sending me hate mail, let me clarify a few things: A) I love Hinata. B) My fanfics are almost always done by unreliable narrators.

That said, you have to admit that Kiba and Hinata don't always treat Shino the way he deserves. He saves their lives on almost every mission, and yet they have a habit of just walking off as he's talking to them. By the time the war comes around, he's so insecure that when his undead brother asks if he has friends, Shino says "I'm not sure." That's really, really sad.

As always, reviews are VERY appreciated. The longer and rant-ier the better.


	2. Bugs

Author's Note: It always seemed strange to me how Shino could flip out after seeing a Venus flytrap eat a single fly, yet willingly send thousands of his kikkai to their deaths during his fight with Torune. I also wondered why he never seemed to have an explicit goal like a lot of the other characters, such as "Have so-and-so acknowledge me" or "Surpass my rival".

This is my attempt to answer both questions.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, bugs have feelings. In fact, they are nothing but feelings: tiny winged packets of emotion crawling through your skeleton. They do not think in words or symbols, but through fractal images and sharp, insistent needs that burn their way into your brain.

Bugs share most of the basic emotions with humans: Rage. Fear. Joy. More complex emotions, such as melancholy or envy, are beyond them. However, they have feelings that humans are incapable of as well. Things like "queen-love", which is a mix of worship and lust, or "oneness-with-the-hive", which is a warm, zen-like experience. Their feelings are just as strong as those of other species, if not more so.

This is why, when Ino Yamanaka swats at a fly hovering over her curry, you feel a stab of vicarious terror. You grab her wrist and pull it roughly to the side. Your elbow almost knocks the group's mission paperwork into some jasmine rice. Shikamaru, Kiba, and even Akamaru all stare at you from across the table.

"Don't," you order her. You're unable to say anything else over the pounding of your heart.

Her perfectly manicured eyebrows form a v on her forehead. "Why not? It's trying to steal my food."

Kiba swallows a mouthful of chicken. "Yeah. It's practically self-defense."

"Ino isn't defending herself. She's defending some overpriced vegetables and cream. The curry here isn't good enough to take a life over."

The fly circles around to hover over Kiba's chicken skewers. Kiba tries to stab the poor insect with the sharp end of his stick. You grab your teammate's wrist with your free hand. "If you can't do it for the fly, do it for me. Why? Because feeling it die would cause me considerable pain."

Kiba and Ino both flinch at that statement. Their killing intent disappears. You let go of their wrists.

Shikamaru folds his hands together in his classic thinking pose. "If it affects you so much," he asks, "how can you let so many of your bugs die in battle?"

"Because in battle, I expect the enemy to hurt me."

Now even Shikamaru looks confused. You're not sure why – your explanation made perfect sense to you. In battle, a ninja expects to get injured. You can fight through hit after hit until the bruises blend together, because your body and mind are prepared for the pain. But if you're walking through the park and a friend runs up to jab a senbon into your wrist…there's no defense against a betrayal like that.

You try to think of another way to explain. "It's like when the Hokage sends his men off to war. Having casualties is..." You pause, trying to think of a name for the gut-wrenching feeling you get when a bug's mind winks out of existence. "Is unpleasant, but necessary. Why? Because if they do not fight, the village as a whole will suffer."

Kiba wears a bemused smirk. "Are you saying…you want to be the Hokage of the bugs in Konoha?"

Ino giggles. "And I thought Naruto had big dreams."

Your cheeks heat up behind your collar. Shikamaru rolls his eyes. "Guys, it's an analogy, not a mission statement. He's saying that he only sacrifices his bugs in self-defense." He looks at you and nods, as though to say he approves of your life choices. Then he picks up his chopsticks and resumes eating.

Shikamaru is completely, utterly wrong. Your power is telepathy, not mind control. Anything the bugs do is of their own free will.

The bugs are well aware that your protection is the only thing keeping them alive in a world conquered by humans. Your body houses them. Your chakra feeds them. Your strategies protect them from predators in ways they can't begin to comprehend. If you tell them to sacrifice themselves, they do so eagerly, because they feel your emotions as you speak to them. They know you don't give that order lightly.

As you guide the fly out of the restaurant's window, you know it can feel your sincerity as well. It would never follow your orders otherwise. You sense the fly's gratitude as it settles on a nearby bush.

In a way, Kiba's joke was correct. You do want to become the Hokage of bugs. You want to become someone who, when you walk into a room, makes people put down their fly swatters. They'll know that the bugs are under your protection, in the same way that highway bandits know not to attack the citizens of Konoha, lest they face the wrath of Tsunade.

As you're reputation grows, people's respect for bugs will grow too. They'll treat insects the same way they would any other animal. And someday, if you work hard enough, it'll be the sprayers and the swatters of the world who will be seen as the strange ones.

But until then, you just save one bug at a time.

* * *

Author's Note: As always, reviews/critiques/opinions are much appreciated. In fact, all reviewers will get an imaginary cookie, which, as everyone knows, tastes much better than a real cookie.


	3. Charade

Author's Note: This little blurb takes place when the Konoha 12 had their second chuunin exams, in other words, while Naruto was on his journey with Jiraiya. I took the liberty of assuming Shino's mom was dead, on account of we never see or hear of her. Or any female Aburame for that matter.

* * *

The first time Shino heard about Naruto's past, he was in a small cramped room with fifty other promoted chuunins. A twitchy jonin explained to them that the Kyuubi that attacked fourteen years ago was still alive. The history lessons had been a lie. The promises of safety had been a lie. And the innocent, happy-go-lucky façade of Naruto Uzumaki – well, that had been the biggest sham of all.

There were mixed reactions. The older chuunin were enraged at Naruto for daring to pass himself off as human. The younger chuunin were furious at the people badmouthing their friend. Everyone was angry at the jonin on the stage. Only the Hokage's presence prevented an all-out brawl.

The chuunin of Konoha 12 walked home together after the meeting. They shouted out to passerby how friendly, kind, and utterly human Naruto was. Hinata yelled louder than Shino had ever heard her. Nobody asked Shino his opinion. That was likely for the best, as Shino wasn't capable of speech at the moment. Naruto's name wheeled through his head in a dizzy loop. By the time the group came to the Aburame compound, Shino could barely see straight.

When Shino got home, his father took one look at him, then asked him to come out to the back garden. They stood in front of a worn stone surrounded by azaleas. Thin letters spelled out "Kiyoko Aburame: Dutiful Wife and Loving Mother".

His father said that it wasn't Naruto's fault. Yes, the Kyuubi's seal wouldn't have weakened if not for Naruto. Yes, Shino's mother would still be alive if not for the Kyuubi. But they can't really hold a newborn infant responsible for the demon's attack. Naruto's only role in the affair was helping seal the Kyuubi. If anything, they should be grateful to him for keeping Mother's killer imprisoned.

Intellectually, Shino knew his father was right. But logic didn't stop the cold rage from jolting through his muscles. Maybe Naruto didn't kill his mother, but he'd been working with the demon that did. He'd used the fox's chakra in the last chuunin exam, even though drawing on its power would weaken the seal. It's possible he shared his mind with the demon.

"Shino," his father said, pulling down his sleeve. He opened a tenkutsu point on his wrist. A few bugs crawled out of the hole. "_What _a person has on the inside is very different than _who_ they are on the inside."

Shino felt a twinge of guilt. Anger shivered through his body, as if trying to shake out his common sense. The war between his mind and his gut was making him sick. But Shino knew which side would win. He was going to forgive Naruto, whether he wanted to or not.

* * *

Author's Note: One thing that always baffled me about this series was how we never saw Konoha 12's reactions to Naruto's secret. Pre-timeskip, the only kids who know are Naruto's teammates and Gaara. Post-timeskip, everybody knows about Naruto and the fox. What's stranger is that they never really confront Naruto about it. They just act like "Oh, Naruto is a jinchiruuki, but he's our friend, so no big deal."

He's got a demon in him! If nothing else, his friends would be worried about him. Pity him. Be ticked that he kept this gigantic secret from them all this time. God forbid one of them actually be concerned. Shino seems like one of the most likely people to have doubts, so I tried to write a situation in which he could be upset about Naruto's secret without seeming like one of the bigoted villagers.


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